5 Things Everybody Says On January 1st That Sound Stupid On July 1st.

Today is the 1^st of July which marks the official 1^st day of the 2^nd half of the year. It’s halftime, and yet unlike the beginning of the first half, there’s a deafening silence. It’s almost like it’s the birthday of the ugly second cousin, all the excitement, all the hype, all the motivation, gone.

Maybe it’s better this way, maybe hype makes you stupid, maybe at this time of year when things are a lot calmer and quieter we take longer to think before we speak. Maybe there’s just less pressure to say dumb shit.

If you don’t agree and you think we spew the same timeless gems now that we do at the beginning of the year. Take a look at these genius quotables you might be responsible for and put your money where your mouth is, use them today   

1. " No traffic, being on the roads is amazing "

Joburgers love this one. A reference to how easy it is for them to get from Pimville to Fourways because all the 'migrant labourers' are out of town on a pilgrimage to their rural birthplaces (yes...because every place outside of Joburg is rural). The fact is, if you are a migrant labourer or a refugee from 1 of the other 8 provinces, traffic on this particular day is insane. Being on the roads is a nightmare. Purely because all the migrant labourers are well… migrating. 

And besides, for coastal cities like Durban & Cape Town who have an influx of holiday goers the exact opposite is true.

But, I digress … try repeat this statement today and see how relevant your timeous ass is.

     2. " Happy New Year " 

This one needs an expiry date that reads "Good for just 24 hours". Anything from drunken screams just after the countdown to raspy hangover greeting when the sun is up are permissible, but only until 00:00 on the 2^nd of January. Anything else is humping a dead horse.

Have you ever not seen someone for a couple of days, only those days were split between the previous year and the current one so, one day it’s the 3^rd of fucken March and you run into this muthafucka at the mall and they see you, you see them , you greet and as they leave they say  “ Happy New Year “ and you say thanks, because everybody at your neighbourhood shopping centre now knows that you have stupid friends.

Don’t think this is that bad? Ok, then let it run a bit longer. If you’re reading this and I haven’t seen you since last year, I’m gonna run up to you give you the tightest squeeze, plant 2 of those cheek kisses on you that I give when I run into my white girl buddies and scream “Happy New Year” … in the middle of October ... yeah… because that’s how you made me feel in April.

Moral of the story:  If it’s not January 1^st   Stop it.

    3. " Ke Dezember bowss " 

Really family? You made “Turn Up” you spirit chant the whole year and now because it’s a different month you switched up what you say when you're doing the same damn thing you do all year? You are seasonal fam! Fuck out of my face, before I run up to you tonight while you’re macking that gorgeous dimepiece, accidentally knock all your shooter glasses all over you and scream “ ke Dezember bowss “!

And that's without me even considering the fact that it was fucken Jan 1^st when you said that shit. Honestly, you need to do better homie. Learn some new phrases.  

    4. " Eish … Janu Worry " 

    Ok, so you Dezember bowssed your whole pay check in 5 days now you have to live ass to mouth for the rest of the month cause you spent your grocery cash on a round of drinks at Hush for a gang of people that didn’t even put out? OR, you got paid 5 days ago and now you’re broke on July 1^st. Nah fam... you got paid 5 days ago, it’s not the month… It’s you! Change your habits, infact don’t. Change your job. Otherwise you gonna be out here on New Year’s day next year talking about stupid things people say point number 5…

Stupid things people say point number 5: " I wrote down my new year's resolutions " 

     Tell you what. Maybe it’s not too bad to stratergise for the year ahead. But, like any sport coach would tell you, if it’s half time and you’re trailing by 5 goals to nil, you need a new game plan. So how about you asses what went wrong in the 1^st half and come with a better plan for the 2^nd half. Something more realistic because if you stick to your guns and do the same thing you tried to do when and you came in, it’s gonna be 10 goals down at full time.  

Ok, so go out there and talk relevant shit? And not relevant shit like rapping 2 bar verses about grey goose, airmax sneakers and what you and your buddies smoke when you're committing statutory rape over a Kwai-Hop beat... No...not that. Never that please! 

I  mean ... all the coolest shit on and off the planet is timeless right? Give or take so, if we’re rambling about shit in Jan that has no place in July then what the fuck are we even talking about?

OBEY Your SELF

 That *OBEY shit though... whether you read it as OBEY or YEBO backwards… says that you’re either conforming OR confirming OR you’re confirming that you’re conforming or whatever. Either way that just seems like some dumb ass shit to wear on your heart or sleeve. But what the fuck do I know? #itscooltobeafoolouthere  
 

See you can argue that since breaking the rules has always been associated with being cool, think high school, think any iconic figure in history that was regarded as ‘cool’ and you’ll find that their image is idolised for its anti-establishment status. But in pop culture being un-cool has always been the next cool. So you might argue that that’s where the street-wear clothing label OBEY’s argument sits. That in essence OBEY-ing something is anti what’s popular and therefore by it’s nature IS cool. So rebelling becomes OBEYING. Which as twisted as **genre-fication goes is quite a plausible premise. And just as problematic but, we’ll get to that later. 

Another way of interpreting it is that it’s a call to OBEY the inner you in you, whatever that you is. That it motivates you to surrender to yourself and give into your repressed/supressed instincts without filtering. Which as noble an idea as that is, when you consider the brand’s current consumer market it might be a better idea for that audience to steer clear from that but, we’re not gonna go there.  

So, to get a second opinion I shared my view with a friend who by all means is way more popular culture minded and fashion forward inclined than I am. I think I might have ended my part of the conversation with the question “so how can a notion so ridiculous be regarded as cool?” The answer she gave was the one I’d feared the most, one that even in my own head while trying to make sense of this feeble topic I’d tried to avoid or even navigate away from because I had sincerely hoped in my heart that it wasn’t that simple. Or quite frankly, that we didn’t have it that bad. Anyway, this is how the conversation went… Me: “remember that OBEY clothing brand? Friend: “ Yeah, the street wear joint that was hot about 4 years ago? “ Me: “ So it was cool? Friend: “ yeah it was real cool! “ I then proceeded to say something that resembled the opening paragraph to this joint, to which she replied (add worst fear alert here) “Well nobody really gives a shit about what it means, no one is tryna think deep about it, it was cool because they saw a celebrity wear it or maybe it was on a fashion blog and that’s all that matters. That’s what made it cool. They had to get that shit and be seen wearing it too“

A couple years ago another friend of mine who’s an ex editor at a high profile and popular fashion magazine gave me and some colleagues a power point presentation on the history and the behind scenes influences on the fashion industry. One of the things that stood out the most for me was this segment where she spoke about how the recession a couple of years ago had affected fashion. She said that when the recession was at its worst there was the challenge of fabric availability. Sweat shops and manufactures and fashion houses had less fabric to work with because of the cost and so to meet the challenge, garments that required less fabric like mini-skirts were promoted as the new hot fashion item that winter. Not because it was a hot new idea but because it was a means to an end. And that’s how the leggings and mini-skirts in winter trend started. 

See the thing is on the other end of the spectrum no one gave a shit where and why that trend was popping. All the fashion promoters had to do was put it in a couple of high profile fashion house’s collections, have it endorsed by celebrities and the shit took off and made billions of bootleggers get rich and save at the same time. 

The significance of that is, well at-least in my head. When you start promoting concepts like OBEY the ramifications get quite dangerous very quickly. Thing is, not much good ever came out of obeying. It’s a dangerous concept. But when you get people to start accepting such ideologies, when you start making their minds more susceptible to it to a point where they are branding themselves with the concept, then it makes the idea of ‘obeying’ something or things not so bad, welcomed even. Now if you’re the one creating rules that you want the masses to OBEY, in that environment a problem is the last thing you have. 

As much as we didn’t know much about the mini-skirt in winter trend’s origins a while ago. We don’t know who’s really behind OBEY. Or who endorses such an idea for their own benefit. Even if it was a start-up concept by some well-intended creatives who built an idea around what I said in paragraph 2 and 3, or even if the label name meant nothing at all, there would have to be a machine behind it that would have to drive, fund and promote it and, this is where things always get a little sticky and not so trustworthy. On the other hand that machine could have just created the label, threw some front faces to the company and an image to it and BOOM, Bob’s your stepdad! All we know is to get it to pop off they got some ‘cool’ people to rock it. Again, history has taught us that the motives behind these ‘cool’ people’s endorsements and their awareness in general besides ‘cutting the cheque’ has always been questionable. But to get ‘early adopters’ which are popular culture’s ‘it’ guys or ‘thought’ leaders to transport influence from ‘culture drivers’ (read influencial public icons) and feed it into the masses, that’s generally how you market. So, the mass market in essence becomes an influenced group that, excuse the pun, blindly obeys trends and consumes information and products that are marketed to them. To the point where the appeal of these products can be shaped so that people like them because they appear to represent the exact opposite of what they actually do.  

So my question is… Who would it benefit if our minds were more lenient to the concept of OBEY-ing? Certainly not us. And when rebelling becomes OBEY-ing is that not cause enough for at-least some concern? 

                                                                                                                        

 Notes 

*OBEY:  An icon started as street art by the now famous street artist Shepard Fairey in the 80's. This poster, with an image of andre the giant and the words OBEY written in large red print underneath became extremely popular and eventually was put onto clothing. For a good amount of time, the OBEY clothing brand was mostly worn by hipsters, skaters, punks, and other counter cultures, but has recently (in 2012) started being worn by douchebags who in 2006 would all be dressing like 50 cent. This is quite unfortunate. for a further definition of the type of people who now wear OBEY, see swagfag and yolo

I have a friend on facebook who goes to my school whose name on facebook is "Obey Wavy" that is example enough. (Urban Dictionary)

**genre-fication – when a culture or genre's identity and practises are hijacked and mimicked by another culture with less integrity and substance in their motives and then presented as belonging to the original culture for the hijacking culture’s benefit.

Have a squeeze at this and how OBEY’s image is that of a dissent brand, then consider the irony in the reasons my friend gave for the current market wearing it. http://www.obeygiant.com/

   

The state of rap vs Rappaport

With all the drama fit for a court-room that surrounds the release of the Michael Rappaport directed documentary about a tribe called quest aptly named Beats, Rhymes and Life after their 4^th studio album, the mere iconic status of both the subjects involved suggests that any verdict will have far reaching implications. Rappaport a Jewish Hollywood A-list actor is known for his love for Hip Hop. Whether it’s from his comedic antics as a an A&R agent on the skits off Talib Kweli’s Quality album or as the ‘blacksploitation’ endorsing film executive on Spike Lee’s “Bamboozled”. He has created a public persona of himself as someone who understands the challenges that black art and entertainment faces in the hands of corporate America. The co signs from Kweli and Spike Lee didn’t hurt either. Even though we might have liked The War @ Home, when we heard that the main guy behind the sitcom would be directing the 1^st hip hop documentary about the life and times of one of the most influential and ground breaking groups in Hip Hop history, we raised an eyebrow but, our suspicions never grew to full concern. Besides, Tribe okayed it so, Tribe had to be cool with it.

When the stories broke, about Q-tip’s tweet where he declared “ I don’t support this film” you could almost hear the deafening sighs across the world going “oh...here we go”. So what in the hell did dude go and do now. From a tribe perspective the problems were multifaceted. On a creative front according to Q-tip in an interview with Slay on MTV, when they signed onto the project they signed on as producers and this meant that they would have a say in the content of the film. When they saw the 1^st couple of edits however, Rappaport was not welcoming and argumentative when it came to their input. In his defense Rappaport claims that when Tribe saw how revealing the film was they tried to edit it because they feared it would tarnish their image. A reference, amongst others to the Q-tip and Phife fight before a show that Rappaport managed to catch on tape. You can argue that Q tip and Phife’s fights are well documented in as far as how they’ve both been expressive on the subject over the years. An argument that’s supported by Tip’s statement “ when you’re dealing with a group in the pantheon of 20 years there’s so many stories you can tell, fortunately or unfortunately the story that sprung up (in the documentary) was the dissention between me and Phife … but if you’re gonna do that, then you gotta balance that out as well “ It’s almost like ATCQ were calling for all aspects of the group to be shown and not just the negative. The documentary’s Beats, Rhymes and Fights trailer that tribe never okayed is testament to this as it represents exactly what the title suggests.

Tribe feels the music wasn’t represented in the 1^st edit, and that being the most integral part of their legacy… had to be on there.  On a business level Tip was sent an email by mistake written by Rappaport to one of the projects managers which read ” first off lets close the billing block and put it on the poster so they cant get on that. Then we’ll f*&$ them on everything else.” Exposing a plot by Rappaport to intentionally prevent Tribe from being producers on the project. When Ali Shaheed says “ that’s the beginning of the deception and there was a lot of deception that Michael played with the media with regards to what was happening behind closed doors” you kinda get a sense of who was who and what was what.  However, when all is said and done, all parties involved want YOU to go and see the film. I agree, Michael crafted a masterpiece in the end. His love and understanding of the culture, the group and storytelling shines through. After a lot of back and forths, editing and collaboration all parties were eventually happy with the final product.

So why all the politics?

Well, Rappaport was the “ bamboozled “ guy. The guy who asked Kweli to be T Kwiggidy on “quality”. A funny dude in both instances as he played the satire, but how funny is it in real life? Forget the irony in the Michael story and for a little, just a little consider that this piece is not in the least designed to discredit him. Why did a tribe called quest, one of the most revered and respected groups in music need the backing of a Hollywood A lister slash hip hop fan to make a documentary about themselves? Is there such a thing as being incorruptible when operating within a corrupt machine that seeks to exploit art for it’s own benefit? This whole saga played itself out in the public courtroom so it’s fitting to say, you be the judge. Before you make that judgement though take note of Tip’s closing statement in his interview with Slay “ tell your own stories, be in charge of your own stories. We griots we gotta pass our own stories on, this is part of our tradition as African Americans, lets tell our own stories… we can let everybody in and participate with us in this but, don’t fall for the Hollywood …. We are hip hop man we crack the mould we break the rules… this hip hop sh!t is our sh!t and when we start moving in let’s control your stories man. Tell your stories. “